Monday, May 9, 2011

Bullying is NOT cool!

A sense of self worth destroyed, feelings of helplessness, despair, sometimes even contemplating suicide.........does this sound familiar to you?

It does if you were once a bully victim or still are!! And for those who are or were bullies...this is what you DON'T feel or experience as the experience the opposite...being looked up to because people are afraid of you, and actually even gaining popularity from it.....Speaking from a psychological perspective(Yes, the Phd student in psychology kicking in which means....NERD alert!), it is not what is wrong with these students that their peers admire bullies, BUT it's the herd mentality of he/she is stronger, prettier, assertive and we should look up to that! THese bullies are basically reinforced for their wrongdoing... and not to mention, they could have come from aggressive households which portrays that type of behavior or encourages it.......

Being from a co-ed school, I see the dynamic of bullies and victim all the time... myself experiencing it before but not to the extent of:

The girl from SMK Raja Adbullah(Disgusting...I can't believe these girls are only 13!)...I am not sure whether suspending them for 14 days is enough....FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Why is it that the victim has to transfer school and not the bullies? Why should the victim be the one that is ashame and not the bullies?


                               The famous case of Casey Heynes

What I experienced during high school was not as bad as these two cases...I guess...this would be a tell all into what it feels like being a victim... Freedom of writing right?? I basically experience being bullied in high school and college...mostly by girls.... Although most people think that females are the softer, calmer, nicer species....I beg to differ based on research I have read, am about to conduct,
and personal experience..... They do the nastiest things behind your back mainly to destroy your reputation...In high school, I got socially ostracized, slanderous rumours spread about me, and I guess the worst would be seeing my name scrawled in red paint all over the toilet..... You would think it stops in high school, but NOPE, these girls continued up until's all about the B****ing, spreading rumours, and gossiping to destroy your social standing, self worth...and ultimately reputation?

Due to all the aforementioned "demoralization", I had extremely low self esteem...although no one could tell except my mom.... I had self doubts about my abilities, be it socially or academically. Worse still, it came to a point where I started blaming myself for the bullying that I experienced.If it weren't for my mom who was there to talk to me, basically help me through my school years(I would often come home crying), I wouldn't have achieved what I have today. Of course, I had a few great friends through my high school that was there for me through thick and thin which I am grateful for..... and we are still friends up till now:)

For those bullies out there, if you are doing this for some self serving purpose( e.g., acquire popularity), I am not sure whether you know...but you could have scarred some people for life...They could have been someone great but because of your insensitivity and aggression, you destroyed a person's hope and believe in their selves. Plus, it's NOT something to laugh about... but actually feel guilty....unless you are an animal and DOES not have a guilty conscience..then I pity you!

For those bully victims, please know that you are not alone! That there are many people who care about you such as your teachers, parents, and the rest of the community. We are here to give you support in building a bright future..don't fall prey into a world of self doubt and despair..pick yourself up and grow stronger everyday....:) Most importantly you are not to blame for what has happened.... DON"T GIVE UP!

As for the rest of you who were laughing or not doing anything while these videos were filmed or when you see someone getting bullied in school, what you can do is to...

1. Report it to your teacher
2. If it gets out of hand, get a few friends to step in and help
3. DO NOT reinforce these bullies behavior by admiring or looking up to them!

Let's STOP bullying by looking out for one another alright?


P.S.: If you know anymore cases in your high school, need help, or have experiences as a victim...voice it out! Post a comment or email me...Afterall, my expertise is in developmental psychology *winks*


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

oh my goodness. you arrogant self serving being of a person. you have been a bully in primary school and had been throughout high school. you scarred people with your back stabbing and your gossiping. do you really think you are so innocent in this all? i dreaded what was supposed to best years of my school life because you of you. i'm not expecting an apology, but you could at least have the decency to not pretend like you were the victim here.

please for goodness sake, stop it with all the self righteous junk you are trying to pull. it really is quite pitiful don't you think?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

to you 2 anonymous dimwits its time to grow up and get on with life don't spend your remaining youth spying on what others and trying to make yourself feel more worthy by flaming.. n 0 0 b s!

benlim said...

Dear Anonymous,

stop trolling or better yet stop reading her blog if you dislike her so much. Nice of you to hide behind a computer screen and insult someone for creating awareness regarding bullies at school. Real brave.

Seriously get a life. have an attitude change while you are at it.

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