In this post, I am going a step further to talk about relationships and how it unfolds for both youths and young adults. When teenagers are in a relationship, their experiences are always referred to as “puppy love” because it’s not serious. Parents always dismiss it as a transient fleeting moment in their children’s lives that may not last more than 3 years. As their children grow older into young adults, the next phase beckons where parents and relatives actually start asking their children above the age of 25, “When are you going to get married?”
Before I ramble on, has anyone ever thought how it switches from being “puppy love” to “marriage” in just a short span of about a decade? This transition in perception is really beyond me. How can you encourage someone to get married just because it is the right age to? For a start, is there even a right age to settle down?
Is marriage the key to a blissful existence in life? I’m sure most would envision sunny (pun intended) times ahead, but unfortunate, it takes hard work! Most would deem it all rosy after settling down to a married life. If only they knew what it entails.
I have had friends who were encouraged into marriage. Once they tied the knot, they filed for divorce after a year or two. It gets even complicated when the couple has a child! Point to ponder; the divorce rate in Malaysia doubled between 2002 and 2009. How did that happen?
I am not sure whether it’s societal norms, peer influence or a mixture of both that drives most couples in their 20’s to get married quickly. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not against anyone getting married in their 20s. A feeling of readiness to walk down the aisle, governed by emotional, social and economic reasons are only something the individuals themselves know.
A friend once told me she got married because it seemed like the next best thing to do in life, as all her friends were already getting married. She cited “natural progression in life” as the impetus. Instead of being happily married, she wasn’t. Rather than taking a bull by its horn and take stock of the situation she finds herself in, things spiraled out of control. As she felt an increasingly estranged marriage devoid of love, she reckoned it’s time to have a baby to patch things together. How wrong could she be?
This is just once case I’m aware of. I’m sure there are many others who are influenced or pressured into a marriage and having a baby thereafter. It’s unnerving to witness all these events and manifestation of the “herd mentality”. “Just because everyone is doing it, why can’t I?” being the all too familiar maxim.
From being in a relationship, to a married life, and eventually graduating to building a family together; it’s never been a straightforward journey. As rosy and “sunny” as it may sound, many young people think it’s merely a circle of life that just falls into place naturally. Little do they know the ensuing responsibilities required of young couples after the wedding bell sounds.
It isn’t easy especially when you are married because subsequent decision making has to now take into account your better half. The two shall be one. When you herald the arrival of a newborn baby, that would be 2 additional extension of yourself! Having a baby just complicates matters a great many folds. So if you’re not ready for a baby, please consider using the right contraceptive methods (e.g. the pill, condoms, IUS). Contraceptive usage is a great society shaper and effective family planning tool.
If you aren’t ready for an unplanned pregnancy, then why take the risk? I guess I am not one to say as I am not married yet but I have met too many divorced couples with children to know that the person suffering the most eventually is not the couple but the kids.
On that note, I’d like to bring to your attention a new facebook game that aims to connect all the dots in one’s lives with an underlying message on resource and population management. As mentioned, this new social game is called Sunny Bay, where you strive to become the Mayor of a town you manage. It has a great but simple gameplay that boasts of vibrant and unique graphics.
Sunny Bay aims to promote the importance of juggling between the need for a healthy community and a balanced approach to effective family planning. Players stand to benefit from learning the various contraceptive methods available and a host of other general knowledge when you answer the in-game quizzes correctly.
Most interestingly, the core storyline in Sunny Bay revolves around four characters. We can all relate with and learn from these characters as they progress through the different life stages – a dating couple, a couple planning to get married, a mother who’s expecting and a father. It’s truly a unique and interesting way to reach out to younger generation on a journey of love, life and sex.
Yes, it’s just a virtual world where things appear all too perfect. But it’s not just any other virtual “playground’. Sunny Bay offers players a platform to explore the reality of life which often escapes the consciousness of most newlyweds.
Enough said, go try it yourself and play Sunny Bay at www.mysunnybay.com today!